"I need your clothes, your boots, and your undivided loyalty against those who wish to remove me...oh and your motorcycle"
Thats 3 coups now. All avoided. And why? Well it seems no one wants to go up against the big man. Not Miliband, not Miliband mkII, not Alan Johnson, no one. Okay Harriet Harmon maybe at some point in the future, but not quite yet. Maybe Gordon was sent back in time to prevent The Harmonator taking office...now that really would be an apocalyptic future...much worse than anything Skynet could accomplish.
This latest failed coup-de-tat, with Hoon and Hewitt, is just bizarre. A good idea perhaps, but poorly executed and so bad it wasn't even funny. Much like 'How I Met Your Mother' in that regard. Yes, the pop-culture references are still here. As back-stabbing politics goes, it wasn't exactly Brutus knifing Ceasar in the back was it? More like Brutus hissy-slapping Ceasar's slave on the way to the Senate and then going home to cry.
"Et Tu Hoon?" Hardly.
Is this the message that we send to rest of the world? We are SO BAD AT POLITICS that we can't even do 'scandal' properly? Its all just embarassing and pointless. Like Peaches Geldof.
So Gordon has the loyalty of the party. But why? Is it that they all feel so doomed to election failure that stepping up now would only add personal career suicide on top of inevitable defeat? It seems that way to me. In which case they are all spineless, gutless, cowards. At least Hoon is saying what he believes. Is Miliband? Does Miliband actually believe in ANYTHING? Have you ever heard him utter an opinion, musing, gripe, even a WORD, that doesn't consist of merely 'towing the part line'? Honestly, the man is like a robot himself.
NOW AVAILABLE!!! The Milliband version 2.0. Now with extra smug. Order now for free comedy banana prop. Ideology not included
Thats Wacko Jacko Smith for ya!
She's a fine example of what has become of New Labour. A money pinching, corrupt, head-in-the-clouds busy body promoted out of her depth who insisted on f ucking over the taxpayers for all they had. Ridiculed, her reputation in ruins, but at least she has a nice house. Two of them in fact. How far this party has fallen. Further than Gandalf when he fought the Balrog, you could say. Will Labour even survive as a party?! Could they come back as 'Labour the White'?
Computer says no.
Magic 8 Ball says 'don't count on it'.
I say I f ucking doubt it with bells on.
So Gordon is sitting unpretty at the top right now. Quashing the saplings who attempt to de-throne him must give him a buzz. You can see it in his eye. But what now? How does he even think of staging a recovery....how can he possibly avoid Judgement Day? Because MayDay MayDay elections are fast approaching, and the man needs help. Not to mention he's still got the 3, yes 3 count em, televised debates to get through. And Gordon on TV is about as awkward as sharing a lift with Prince Phillip and the entire Nigerian Paralympic Basketball Team.
There is however, trouble 'a brewing'....
Could it be that Gordon has met his match? Because a new model has appeared in a lightning storm of re-imagined blue. This new improved version of Terminator can become anyone, say anything (and nothing) and is also seemingly unbeatable. The 'T-1000 Dave Cameron edition' seems destined for success, despite having little software of its own. The T-1000 is a redesign of an earlier model, but it still owes a lot to its predecessors, and its robot law of pleasing its masters still applies. I suppose the question is, who do WE prefer? The old dependable Terminator or this flashy new one?
It'll be the new one of course. We like the shiny shiny. And Dave is as shiny as they come. Hoon and Hewitt knew this. Their plan, misguided as it was, was a final flailing attempt to give the Labour party A CHANCE in the next election. It failed. They failed. The party will fail.
Judgement Day is coming.
Gordon will be Terminated.
"Hasta La Vista... Baby"
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